“Are you sure you need that dessert?” asked Amanda’s husband. His not-so-subtle references to her excess weight were starting to grate on Amanda’s nerves. She didn’t need reminders that she was 25 to 30 pounds overweight. 42-year-old Amanda—5-feet, 6-inches tall—knew she weighed 165 pounds. Amanda and Jim met 13 years earlier. After a year and a half of dating, they married. It was the second marriage for both. Jim retired from the military after 20 years of service and worked as a sheriff’s deputy. Amanda was an elementary teacher. She had no children of her own because of medical problems earlier in life. Jim was a good provider. He had a great sense of humor and was a God-fearing man who attended church with her. He’d send her flowers “just because.” Jim liked his in-laws. He kept the yard in tip-top shape and the home in good repair. He was faithful to Amanda for the 11 years of their marriage. Not un-commonly for ex-military men, Jim could be a bit of a control freak. Amanda loved Jim anyway, and felt he loved her back. He said so. The marriage had hit a few rough patches, but the couple had worked through them successfully. Amanda loved the outdoors. She was an avid hiker and an officer in a hiking club. Two or three weekends a month, she would take a four- to eight-mile strenuous hike either with the club or other friends. She’d strap on a 15-pound backpack, including camera gear for her nature photography hobby. Four days of the week she’d go for a three-mile walk with her black Labrador retriever in her neighborhood. Her Lab would often tag along on her hikes carrying a first-aid kit and his own water in a dog backpack. Amanda considered herself 15 pounds overweight when they married. She was 150 pounds at the time. Jim understood he wasn’t marrying a Victoria’s Secret model. She gained 10 or 15 pounds over the next five years, but had held steady since then. She’s attractive, and she knows it. When she’s wearing high heels and dark clothing, the extra weight
disappears. Amanda eats healthy and enjoys her food. If not for Jim’s comments, she’d be comfortable with her current 165 pounds. She felt good. Several of the 20-somethings in the hiking club had trouble keeping up with her. She doesn’t plan on entering the Mrs. America pageant. Everybody gains a little weight as they get older, don’t they? None of her friends are at their high school weights. Few are even close. Nevertheless, over the last couple years Jim had been increasingly critical of her weight. He could stand to lose 40 pounds himself. Their sex life was less active now and Amanda wasn’t sure if it was related to her weight, Jim’s age (47), or something else entirely. She’d catch his eyes wandering to other women more than usual. He freely shared his idea of feminine perfection with Amanda and her friends: Nicole Kidman. By the same token, Jim was no George Clooney, either. Sure, Amanda wouldn’t mind being 135 pounds again, as thin as she was at 25. She wondered if there was an easy, painless way to get there. She wasn’t excited about the sacrifices she figured were necessary to lose 30 pounds. She’d made some half-hearted attempts at losing weight through calorie-restricted diets, without lasting success. After two or three weeks of deprivation, she couldn’t stand the gnawing, unrelenting hunger. She had let Jim know many times that his derogatory weight-related comments cut her to the bone. They quarrelled; he apologized. But the hurtful comments began again too soon. Amanda and Jim’s repetitive bickering about her weight started to strain their marriage. In the final analysis, she loved Jim and thought it would just be silly for her weight to jeopardize her marriage. She decided to lose 30 pounds and put an end to his carping. She came to see me for weight-loss pills. [Continued....]
All matters regarding your health require supervision by a personal physician or other appropriate health professional familiar with your current health status. Always consult your personal physician before making any dietary or exercise changes.